Popcorn! But That's Not Fair!
by Angelus The Scourge of Europe
Summary: Oneshot for fanfic challenge. After Breaking Dawn. Jacob comes over to the Cullen house. Emmett decides to watch a movie with him. But of course they never really get to the movie! Emmett tries to eat popcorn! MY SISTER'S STORY


**For a fanfic challenge. This is probably the latest fanfic challenge. Just a random thought that popped into my my this evening. lol Hope you enjoy it. It's a bit rushed to meet the deadline. Enjoy!**

**A/N: Yeah! I won this category in the fanfic contest! Thank you to all the moderators including: MyFantasyDreams, It Reeks Of Fangirls, KCrazy and Deatbyscreams. And also to Sasukez! Come join the fun at: http://www[dot]fanfiction[dot]net/forum/Twilight_Fanfic_Challenges/62071/**

**The other winners were LilyPadADV for I'll Bring you Flower In The Pouring Rain and It Reeks of Fangirls for Time Heals Nothing. And Congratulations Sasukez for winning the 'Cookie Award'.**

**I will display my wonderful prize to the world:** http://www[dot]dumpr[dot]net/photos/185998/499184a03989477d/

**Disclaimer: Do not own.**

* * *

It was a damp dark evening as Jacob sat on the floor of his bedroom. He was extremely bored because it was his pack's night off. Ever since two packs were formed in La Push, precautions were made to assure there would be no 'slip-ups'. Never before had there been two Alphas roaming La Push reservation. Tonight, Sam's pack held the patrol. Although the two packs were the same, confrontations did occur.

Jacob sat in his room tossing a baseball against the wall. With each bounce, he thought about Renessmee. _Perhaps_, he thought, _Bella, Edward and Nessie were back_. They had gone out hunting together. Jacob hated to dwell on the thought of little Nessie taking down a bear. As Jacob allowed his thoughts to wander, he threw the ball faster and harder.

Billy opened the door and rolled to the threshold, "What's with the banging? Some people are trying to sleep."

"Sorry," Jacob shrugged, "Just occupying my time."

"Why don't you find something more useful and less noisy to do? At least something that won't make holes in my walls," Billy pointed to the baseball size dents scattered around the wall, "Go out. Don't be cooped up in here."

"I get it, dad," Jacob stood up, "You just want me out right?"

Billy chuckled loudly to himself and rolled away. Jacob sighed and tied his shoes on. He thought about his options. It was either Forks or La Push and he was not staying in La Push. He inhaled the damp air as he headed for his car. He whispered to himself, "Forks it is," he got in his car and headed east toward the Cullens.

And that is how he found himself on their front porch at 11:24 pm. He rang the doorbell rather impatiently as if he was embarrassed to be there. The blonde opened the door.

"Oh it's you," Rosalie looked Jacob up and down with a disappointed scowl, "Should have guessed from the smell."

Emmett came up behind Rosalie and placed his arms gently on her shoulders, "Hey Jake!" he looked at Rosalie, "What's wrong baby?"

"Hey Emmett, how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?" Jacob smirked.

"Oh no, not this again," Rosalie rolled her eyes.

Emmett played along with childlike innocence, "I don't know. How many?"

"The world may never know!" Jacob laughed.

Emmett snorted at the joke. Rosalie glared at Jacob and then turned to Emmett with a shocked glance.

"What? It was funny!" Emmett insisted, "I'm sorry."

Rosalie let out and exasperated huff and stormed up stairs.

"Baby, I said I was sorry! It was just a joke," Emmett called up the stairs. The only reply was a slamming door.

"Marital problems?" Jacob asked.

"You have no idea," Emmett looked at his feet then back at Jacob, "She'll forgive though. She always does. Can't get enough of her monkey man. By the way come in," Emmett shifted in the doorway, "Oh yeah, Nessie's not home yet."

"Oh," Jacob said, "Well, it seems I've done enough damage. I better get going."

"No, stay," Emmett insisted, "We could hang. No one's home except me and Rosalie anyway. We could watch a movie."

"Watching a movie with a vampire. Can't be the worse life decision I've made, can it? So, sure."

"Come on then!" Emmett ran to the living room.

"Jacob shrugged and followed him, "So what are the options?"

"We could watched the horrible Hollywood stereotypes of vampires and werewolves," Emmett chortled.

"As long that vampire/werewolf film has a victorious werewolf at the end," Jacob said.

"I think that would be hard to find," Emmett laughed.

"No it's not," Jacob said trying to recollect one, "There's… um…. Van Helsing! Hah! Got one."

"Yeah _one_," Emmett put emphasis on the one.

"Fine let's steer clear of that genre," Jacob said in defeat, "Pick one. Anyone."

Emmett smiled and closed his eyes. He pointed randomly at the rack of DVDs. He peeked through his fingers and cheated causing him to pick 'The Dark Knight'.

"That's a great movie," Jacob nodded, "The Joker kicks ass in that one."

Emmett grinned, "It's one of my favorites," he popped open the case and inserted the DVD into the player.

"Here's a wild and crazy question, but do you have any food?" Jacob asked with skeptic hope.

"Yup, food's all part of the illusion. Feel free to find something," Emmett stretched out on the couch waiting for the movie to load.

Jacob disappeared into the kitchen for a short time. There was a small crash to which Emmett answered, "Break anything and Esme will have your head! And come on I wanna start the movie!"

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" Jacob ran into the living room with a large bowl of popcorn and a can of soda.

Emmett immediately hit play. He looked at the popcorn, "How's the popcorn?"

"Wonderful," Jacob smirked as he shoved a handful into his mouth.

"I've never had it," Emmett frowned.

"You don't know what you're missing. Too bad you can't have any."

Emmett heard the challenge and decided to take it, "Oh yah?" he grabbed a piece and popped it into his mouth. He swallowed it quickly, "You do not want to know what I have to do to get that out."

"What? How?" Jacob looked at Emmett flabbergasted with an open mouth. He turned to the movie trying to understand how a vampire ate popcorn. Ignoring that he commented, "Great opening scene."

"I know! Awesome movie!" Emmett nodded, "Now be quiet and let's watch it!" he launched a pillow at Jacob. The pillow hit him square in the face with the full force of a vampire arm.

"Oh I see how it is," Jacob used the pillow and slammed it into Emmett's groin.

"I may not be human but that still hurts," Emmett frowned. It took until the next scene for Emmett to figure out how to retaliate, "You know," he said, "I've always wanted to wrestle a werewolf," with that he hurled himself onto Jacob's back.

Jacob reached up and pulled Emmett into a semi-choke hold. Meanwhile images of Batman crashing into the parking garage flashed on the flat screen TV.

Completely ignoring the film, they rolled around the floor wrestling. Jacob crashed over the bowl of popcorn sending popcorn flying through the air. Emmett eventually got Jacob pinned down when he grabbed the can of soda, "I remember when this was called soda pop," he sipped the soda, "Yup just as good."

"You've got to tell me how you're doing that."

"Vampire secret," Emmett winked, "I'll tell you if you beat me."

"Alright," Jacob then flipped Emmett over.

They continued to struggle across the carpet slamming into couch and bouncing off. Roll after flip after toss, they thrashed about, alternating who was winning. Both of them laughed throughout the epic battle for supremacy. Eventually after much time then ended up extremely close to the TV.

Emmett was the first to hear the loud crack and frizzle of it being crushed. He immediately stopped, "Oh no! I am so dead!"

Jacob jumped up and examined the broken remains of the TV, "That can't be good."

"What's going on down there?" Rosalie's voice echoed down the stairs.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing," Emmett answered looking at Jacob.

"How do we fix this?" Jacob asked.

"Toss the evidence," Emmett said.

"And won't you're family notice they're missing a TV?"

"Not if we replace it," Emmett said, "You toss the TV and I'll get a new one from the garage."

Jacob nodded and began to drag the decimated TV from the house. As he got to the front steps he realized he had no idea to put it. He tried to find a garbage can but didn't succeed. _Vampires don't make garbage? _Tired oflooking he decided to leave it by the bushes near the end of the driveway. He didn't even think that garbage trucks come out of town this far. He went back inside to find Emmett installing an identical TV.

"Good job. No one will notice," Emmett smiled at his handiwork.

About two minutes later the front door opened and in walked Edward, Nessie, and Bella. Nessie immediately ran and hugged Jacob. Jacob smiled at her and looked up at Edward and Bella. Emmett attempted to be nonchalant by thinking of cars he liked.

"Hey, Nessie," Jacob smiled, "How are you?"

Nessie touched Jacob and showed him a pretty butterfly she saw in the forest.

"How cute," Jacob smiled.

"So guys," Edward interrupted, "What have you been up to?"

"Uh nothing. Nothing at all…" Emmett said, "Just hanging out watching a movie."

"Oh really? And how did that TV get at the end of the driveway?" Bella asked.

"The end of the driveway?" Emmett looked at Jacob. Jacob just shrugged.

"Broke another TV, huh, Emmett?" Edward asked, "And I'm sure you had help too," he glanced at Jacob.

"He started it," Jacob pointed.

Bella laughed, "It's getting late."

"Yeah, I guess I should go," Jacob turned to the door, "That was fun Emmett."

"We should definitely do it again sometime!" Emmett smiled, "Now if you don't mind me, I have to go throw up some popcorn and soda!"

"That's how!" Jacob shouted out triumphantly.

* * *

**Please Review. Thanks.**


End file.
